40 year old ovaries.....I wish I was kidding

So, this is just funny to me, but most people wouldn't appreciate it. I had surgery a month ago to remove a cyst on my right ovary and my OB took lots of pics so I could see the endometriosis, cyst, ovaries and my "pretty" uterus and intestines.....hey at least something in there looks good.

I had a scan on Monday at my fertility clinic and he e took a look at the pics to show him. He said "that's what I thought." Okay...no idea what that means. But, my uterus is perfect to hold a baby! Good news...then he finds a cyst on my left ovary. I can't produce eggs, but you need a cyst I can get you one. It wasn't there four weeks earlier and so it's just gonna hang out there for a while.

The next day I go to my OB for a post-op visit and we talk about the scan from Monday and the new cyst...he said the last one wasn't harmful so let's just leave this one. Then he says the best line ever...

"So, the only post-op thing you should know is that your ovaries look like a 40 year old pre-menopausal woman's ovaries...."

Unlike most people, I laughed. Logan doesn't find it funny, but after this journey I am not phased by anything. His staff and I are close (they've seen me more down there lately than anyone but Logan should). They laughed with me and we just decided if I didn't get multiples this first Ivf (with two embryos...only do that in severe cases under 30), I'd pop another embryo in there within 9-12 months or earlier if we can. The poor med student was so confused by my laughter and openness, but what else can I do. Lay home a cry like I did for two weeks after a failed Ivf?!?! Nope....I'm just gonna have two babies really close in age....

Crazy?!?! Yes!?!?! But, I've always been a medical mystery and for once I'm not. I am 28 with 40 year old ovaries....oh well...moving on to the next step.

Love to you all! You are helping me by commenting and emailing or texting or calling. Pass this onto others....silence is not an option!

What this blog will be....

Well, here goes my first post on the blog. I will give more information over the next few weeks about how we got to where we are today. I will be honest, graphic (words not pictures...and it won't be too bad) and I will share our story openly (every part of it).

Women (and men) should not be ashamed by infertility, miscarriages, pregnancy lost (early or late), stillborns babies, and any other thing that happens when it comes to making babies. I am not ashamed of the miscarriage I had on December 2010. I am not ashamed of the 7 clomid treatments that failed (three of those IUIs). And more importantly I am not ashamed of my diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve (DOR) and my failed IVF in October. Logan and I decided after the initial diagnosis of DOR (with pretty bad numbers for a 28-year-old...like someone in their late 30's should have these numbers) that we would only do one IVF with my eggs (ended up only producing 2 follicles and so we changed it to an IUI) then move onto donor eggs. We are working with our fantastic fertility center in Houston to do a donor egg cycle. We have found a wonderful anonymous donor who is giving the best gift we could ever receive. We literally picked her the first day she was on the donor site (think match.com for egg donors). We are excited for the end of December to get this cycle going and are hoping for Baby Freeman in late 2013. 

It's been a long journey full of heartbreak, lots of tears, tests (in places that never should be tested), two surgeries (one after my miscarriage for my gallbladder but it was completely failing and without that miscarriage we would not have discovered it and that pregnancy would have sucked) and another one to remove a cyst in November (and now there's another one on my left ovary). I have had many times that I've just completely felt alone and lost. I've had other times (like now) where I feel like I have everyone in my life behind us. I've been open on Facebook, to the Chi Omega's I advise as well as my fellow advisors. I've been open with my fellow leaders in the Brazos County A&M Club. 

I've recently joined as an Independent Team Beachbody Coach. I have worked really hard to lose the 40 plus pounds I gained through this journey and I am committed to make an impact on others' lives through Beachbody. I will share a bit about my health and fitness journey. It's more about being healthy for me. I'm finally down to my pre-wedding weight and feel healthier than I have in a long time. I will talk a bit about my other health issues (kidney stones, migraines, etc...there are too many little things that have made this journey more difficult. 

This is probably the worst written blog post ever, but I just wanted to let y'all know what to expect. I am excited to share our journey and be open, honest and unashamed of my infertility. I will start from the beginning and let y'all know updates as they come in. I shouldn't have any other news until middle to late December, so I will be telling our 2.5 year journey over the next couple of weeks. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your thoughts, prayers, messages, notes, emails and encouragement through the journey. It's not always easy for Logan and I, but I am hoping through this blog we can help other couples struggling with the same thing.